Jezebelle - Guildford

We decided to come here after reading a review mentioning a dick salad. Also the prices seemed reasonable enough. And when I called to book, the guy had a Spanish accent that sounded like a matador. He ended up not looking how I expected when we got there though.

After ordering a beer and the raspberry mojito ($10 cocktails on Wednesdays) we then got off to a bad start when two of the dishes we had planned on ordering (having looked at the menu online) were not available. So we had to go off road and I went over budget!!! This is what happens when things don't go according to plan!! But then the waiter came back and said that actually one of the unavailable things is actually available and a different thing was unavailable now. Also we decided to cancel the $20 dish that consisted of 2 tacos (where the value for money at tho???)
So we ordered jamon, lamb and eggplant cigars, prawn and chorizo paella balls, and stuffed chicken wrapped in pancetta. Sounds pretty great, right? WROOOOONG.

My cocktail was amazing and my manservant manuelo enjoyed his beer.

The jamon was great, as it usually is.

But the lamb and eggplant cigars were bland,as were the prawn and chorizo paella balls.

You could smell the saffron in the aioli a little bit. I think the saltiness of the jamon ruined the very subtle flavour of the paella balls and aioli though. It tasted like NOTHING. The chicken was okay, but the flavours were pretty bland and uninspiring.

After eating the bland chicken I ate the rest of my remaining paella ball and it tasted better, I could taste a bit more of the saffron, but it was still bland.

I took advantage of the cheap cocktails though, and got the apple amazing.

It was nice and sweet and lemony, a bit too sweet, and certainly not amazing.

If we received flavourful food served by a matador, my expectations would have been exceeded. If we received flavourful food, my expectations would have been met. Sadly, I just ended up getting tipsy, which really shouldn't be a sentence that starts with "sadly". That's how disappointed I am. Also, the leopard print chairs were so gross. Like, where am I, supre??? Jesus.

(ps the service was good, no faults there.)

tbsp. - Bayswater

I need to get over my awkwardness at walking around a cafe just to take photos. Anyway, on with the review.

They've got all those filament lights that most new cafes in Perth have. As ubiquitous as they are, I still think they look super cool. They're the feature of the simple fit out, along with the blackboard at the back of the cafe.

I ordered an iced mocha and went back to my table and like 5 seconds later my drink arrived! It wasn't very chocolatey. I could taste the coffee, but overall it wasn't the best iced mocha.

I also ordered the pork belly, chorizo and potato hash with a side of mushrooms. I asked the guy at the till if that would be a lot of food, and he was kinda vague about it. We both declared our love for mushrooms though, and so I kept the mushrooms. When it finally arrived about 20 minutes later, I realised I had ordered way too much. Even without the mushrooms I would've struggled. That said, it tasted fantastic. The only element I wasn't a fan of was the chorizo.

As you will see in the photo, with the potato circled in green, the pork belly in blue, and the chorizo in pink, I have done a full analysis. The potato looked and tasted like potato. The pork belly looked and tasted like pork belly. The chorizo didn't look or taste like normal chorizo. I was disappointed.

Also, the pork belly was a little dry, possibly overcooked on the bottom. But the potato was amazing. Best part of the dish, along with the onion. The side order of mushrooms were good too. It's just a shame I couldn't finish everything, so my friends had to help me.

Also a shame I didn't have space for the adorable and delicious sounding chocolate ganache halloween cupcakes that were shown on their Instagram!

Satchmo Cafe, North Perth

The barista who was working this morning (a Friday) was so nice! The music playing in the background was lovely and sounded like old timey jazz. The decor of the place also suited that theme.

I wanted to stay here for the rest of the day but alas, I had to go to work. I ordered a short macchiato, topped up, and the barista drew a line on the takeaway cup asking if that's where I wanted it. Most cafes top it up to halfway on a cup, but his line was just below. So I told him that, but then qualified it with "I don't know how strong your coffee is!" so he said he would take care of it. I think he ended up just going to the halfway point. It was a very nice coffee, but I think his lower top up line would have made it better because it was a little bit more milky than I prefer.

 

Nine Fine Food, Northbridge

Came here for a birthday. The birthday girl ordered the yokubari 5 course set menu ($79) while the rest of us ordered the osusume 4 course menu ($69). One of us wanted to order the 3 courses menu but the waitress said because most of us ordered 4 courses one person can't order 3 because they'll be waiting half an hour longer than everyone else for their first dish. Okay then. Thanks for the lesson in up selling.

First course was sashimi for everyone except the birthday girl who had the eel soup. I didn't try the eel but I'm told it was very nice (if there was more of it I would have).

The salmon and tuna sashimi was fantastic. I especially loved the pieces that were coated in sesame oil and sesame seeds. I love sesame oil!!!

Second course was salmon and scallop. The scallop and the salmon were both delicious, but overall this dish was just okay. The salmon was a little too cooked for my tastes, but still good.

The birthday girl's dish of caviar angel hair pasta had a really nice flavour that made me wish I had ordered it for myself.

Oceans. It took forever for this dish to come out. We were all making stupid, hunger-induced comments about them draining the ocean and how we can't wait for the flood of oceans to engulf us and choosing who would get the Pacific Ocean and who gets the Indian Ocean etc. Anyway. There were a lot of different elements in this dish, not all of them necessarily good. I wasn't a fan of the bitter sprout things, they ruined it a little. The prawns were too salty. The fish roe was annoying (I don't like fish roe, the sensation of little balls of salt popping in my mouth is unpleasant. That's what she said!!). The barramundi was alright though. The best thing about this was the miso sauce on the barramundi. The small smear of sriracha on the plate was a little strange, it didn't seem to go with the flavours.

Dessert! The espresso pannacotta with coffee "jerry" [sic] (I laughed a lot) was nice, but it got a bit monotonous after a while. The jelly wasn't all that flavourful.

The blood orange and coconut gelato was actually more like sorbet than gelato to be honest, but it was still good. Everyone seemed to think the blood orange flavour was really sour, but I found it quite sweet. The coconut flavour was very subtle and sweet and creamier than the blood orange but still kinda sorbet-like.

While I did enjoy the prettiness of the plating and the (mostly) delicious food, the price and the excessive time between courses makes me not want to come back. Yes, it's fine dining, but it wasn't really worth it in this case. Yes, it was a busy Wednesday night, but they were all bookings, so they would have known in advance. There are a few fine dining restaurants I would rather spend my money at instead, like Nobu or No4 Blake Street.

Sayers, Leederville

Sayers

Brownie from Sayers

Look at that oozy gooey brownie from Sayers in Leederville.